Making Much Of Him 365

I join the group headed down the dusty, gravel road.  Tweens and teens laughing and talking as they sauntered toward the woods.    Our skin is tinted pink from a day in God’s creation.

It’s been a good day.

We enter the canopy of trees still following the dusty path.  Ahead is a clearing with makeshift benches made from wooden slats and tree stumps – row after row – tiered so all can see the front.  Stepping on and over the seats, we push and shove, trying to sit by our friends.

A leader attempts to garner our attention with a whistle.  We reluctantly respond as a sweet gal with a guitar begins to lead us in song.

Amazing Grace.  Holy, Holy, Holy.  The Old Rugged Cross.  And, You Can’t Get to Heaven (just for fun).

Our voices lift to Him – His creation singing among His creation.

Soon our pastor steps in front of the wooden cross, marking the front.

I don’t remember his message.  I am not sure what words he used, what passage he quoted, or what plea he made, but my heart was overflowing.

And, in that moment on July 11, 1989, my Creator awakened my 13-year-old heart to His presence.  As the final chorus began, I stepped from the row into the aisle and walked forward.

I didn’t really have to go forward.  I knew I belonged to Jesus already.  But, I wanted to pray – to thank Him for my new heart.  Thank Him for saving me, rescuing me from a life of sin.

I knelt at the improvised altar – a piling of stones in a long row.  I bowed my head, joined hands with my pastor, and prayed to the Most High God, confessing my sinful heart, acknowledging His death and resurrection, asking for forgiveness of my sin.

With tear-filled eyes I said Amen and raised my head.  This moment I remember clearly…

Still on my knees, I looked heavenward.  Light was streaming between the trees as sunset approached.  All voices around me were hushed; I could only hear his creation – singing songbirds and swishing trees.

I smiled, for I knew:  I had met Him today.  In person.  He had come to tell me – I choose you, Sarah.

In my 13-year-old heart, this was THE moment.  I was in.  Heaven would someday be my home.  I was a new creation.  The old was gone, the new had come.

I had been saved.

Then, I went home.  And later back to school.  I was a new creation – for sure.  My life’s focus was different.  I attended church.  But…

My problems persisted.  I still caved to peer pressure.  I still struggled with sin.

What happened to the “old was gone, the new had come”?  Yes, my heart was new; I could feel it.  I knew it.  But, why was I still steeped in sin?

As the years have passed, I’ve pondered this often.  I am His child.  I serve Him.  I love Him.  Except for a few seasons, I’ve pursued Him.  I love His Word.  I hunger and thirst for righteousness.

So, why do I suffer?  Why do I struggle?  Why do I give into temptation?  Heck, why am I even tempted?  Why can’t I just be the “new creation”?

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. 1 John 16:33

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4: 12-13

I can’t just “be the new creation” because I am still being saved.  My salvation was not a one-time event.  We can use a variety of terms – redeemed/redemption, deliver/deliverance, freeing/freedom.  But, regardless of the jargon chosen, it’s clear to me that our “new creation” is continual.

I was saved, I am being saved, and the day God calls me home to heaven, I will be fully saved. 

For now, I walk in the wilderness – just as His Word promised.  For now, I live in a fallen, broken world in which Satan is prowling like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8).

My heart has always had trouble reconciling this continual process of becoming more like Christ.  I have never really understood why God saved me yet my struggles continue.  I might understand it theoretically and theologically.  Still, all those fancy terms like justification and sanctification have mattered little when I have faced deep hurt or sat by a floundering friend.

But, recently as I listened to a teacher review Exodus 1-18 and introduce chapter 19, I finally understood. The teacher said (paraphrase):  The theme of Exodus chapters 1-18 is redemption.  God is saving His people from slavery in Egypt and taking them to the Promised Land.  It’s symbolic of our own Exodus – God saving us from sin and moving us toward the ultimate prize:  Eternity with Him.  But, in Exodus 19, the Israelites find themselves at the foot of Mount Sinai.  It seems they’ve already been saved – freed from slavery – out of the wilderness even.

So, what’s next?  If the saving is over, why aren’t the Israelites being ushered into the Promised Land?

If we’ve been saved, why aren’t our lives reflecting “promised land” living?

Why is life still so difficult? For them – and for us?

Because… God took the Israelites out of Egypt.  So, now He has to get Egypt out of the Israelites.

God has saved us.  He has delivered us.  But, we’ve been living in slavery to sin and this world prior to the moment He saves us – awakens our hearts to Him.  So, now the work of taking the sin and slavery out of us begins.

Our appetites and desires need transformed from those living enslaved to those walking in freedom. He begins teaching us to utterly depend upon Him and Him alone.  We have been freed from the penalty of sin, but now we need saved (continually) from the power of sin in our lives.

He’s still working in us. Don’t be discouraged.

The wilderness in which you walk, the sin through which you stumble is redeemable.  His desire is for you to turn to Him, allowing Him to mold and make you into the promised “new creation”  - one who can rest in Him as the HOPE  – the only hope  for an eternal rescue from self and to Savior.

[NOTE:  I realize there's more to suffering than this. I simply resonated with Jen Wilkin's idea that God was "taking the Egypt out of the Israelites just as He'd taken the Israelites out of Egypt.]

I placed the little creature between my skinned-up knees.  I was catching crawdads, and didn’t want him to scurry away.  After I traversed the creek a few more times, I decided I’d had enough for the day.   I took my bare, muddy feet to the front porch and sat by my new friend.

He didn’t move.  Not one inch.

He stayed inside his box-patterned shell, not even risking a peek at me.  Bummer. I had envisioned a conversation about our families and favorite fishing spots.  I shook him.  Still nothing.

I held his shell up to the porch light, trying to see inside.  Nothing.

Propping myself on the lawn chair, I decided to read a book and outlast him.  It worked.  Before long, the little box turtle dared a peek at my porch.  I froze, watching as he cautiously stuck his head out, one foot then another, and finally his neck.

A slow process as he tested to see what the outside held.

I wanted to run and grab him, but I knew…if I moved toward him or touched him, he’d retreat back into his shell.  He surveyed his surroundings and proceeded cautiously.  Wise.

I observed as he sauntered across the brown outdoor carpet; I wondered what he would do when he reached the edge, for he wasn’t heading toward the steps.

Going over the edge wasn’t an option.  I was poised to save him.

He didn’t need saved.  He stuck his neck out and realized the edge was near, so he skirted the porch perimeter, exploring.  I watched with held breath.  I wanted so badly to pick him up and say hi.  But, I knew he’d suck himself back in to his shell if I interfered.

I can’t remember what happened to that turtle – or the 20 or more I captured throughout my childhood.    I just remember that turtles have a shell to protect themselves, and if and when they venture outside their covering, it’s a slow, cautious process.

And so it is with us. 

We need and embrace the shell of our lives.  The safe places in which we know we are loved unconditionally.  We retreat to those “shell people” when we feel threatened. But, when we feel safe and can trust again?

We dare to depart the safe shell into the unruly unknown. 

I heard this analogy about life and turtles this weekend from a sweet friend who was speaking at the Walk to Emmaus.  It resonated, especially because I’d observed so many turtles over the years, always thinking…if I could just get the turtle to trust me and come out, he’d know that I was not a threat, but a friend.

Our shells are important. 

God, family, and friends.  The people that love and protect us from harm.  The people to whom we retreat when we feel threatened by the outside world.

And while purposed for protecting, our shells must also situate for sending. 

If the turtle stays in his protective covering, he won’t go anywhere unless someone carries him.  Being carried is often necessary when young in age or faith, but eventually the turtle needs to move on his own.

Eventually, we need to move forward on our own.

Moving requires poking our feet out of our shell and putting one in front of the other literally – it requires going.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Matthew 28:19

Going might be scary or feel unsafe, particularly at first, but we must dare to step forward and do the next right thing.

Yet, moving forward is impossible for the turtle that leaves his head inside the shell.  He must stick his head out, noting the landscape, learning the terrain.  But, he can’ t move forward until he sticks his neck out and looks around, truly investigating, pondering, and surveying all there is around him.

Those who form our shells must pray and love us into moving forward – into sticking our necks out and taking the next step.  Just like the turtle, we can only see what’s in front of us; we have no idea what’s “across the porch.”

I could see the little box turtle was headed nowhere and would need to turn; God can see us moving toward the wrong or right destination.  His view is bigger.  And sometimes He will stop us, knowing we are headed no where.  And other times, He will let us go, knowing we need to learn, knowing we will stop at the edge, knowing if he tries to pick us up we might be fearful or untrusting.

As I searched my heart this weekend at Emmaus, I knew this to be true in many ways.  I need encouragement from my “shell people” before I will step forward , putting my “neck out” to heal, love, and grow again.  I also often question the ways in which God is at work in the world.  I feel I am purposefully headed toward greatness only to reach the “edge”  - feeling like a failure.  I question why He didn’t stop or redirect, but know only He can see the whole porch – only He knows where the stairs are and when I should reach them.

As my study of Exodus comes to a close, I am reminded of Moses.  God and Aaron served as his shell.   When God called to Moses from the burning bush, Moses chose to “stick his neck out” knowing he had God on his side. Later as Joshua battled the Amalekites (Deueteronomy 25 and Exodus 17), Aaron and Hur held Moses arms as he raised his staff, making Israel’s victory over the Amalekites possible.

Moses had a strong shell; God was his place of refuge and strength.  But, he also had family and friends within the shell, encouraging and helping him.

We must embrace Christ as our shell – our refuge and strength  - God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1

Embrace our family and friends as part of our shells too.  If we fall down, our friends can pick us up.

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

God will always be our protector; He will remain as the shell – our core – but his desire is for us to stick our necks out for Him and walk forward for His glory.

His white hair is askew and whiskers dot his chin.  Behind his glasses, his eyes sparkle.

You know the key to success? He asks. It’s being kind.  Kind people are successful.

I listen as he describes his brothers and sisters…name, profession, and spouse.  His wife. He misses her.  He explains that she’s in heaven, and he plans to meet her again there.

He blesses our meal. When his bowed head raises, his eyes look sad…reflective. You know, I’ve had a good life, he says.

He thanks me for my kindness and courtesies.  At 84, he’s losing his memory, but he knows what’s important.  Who is important.  He simply thinks everyone should be kind.

I could listen to this sweet man reminisce all day.  He’s sincere and loving.  Grateful. Thankful.  Kind.

Kind.

I begin to wonder…am I kind?  Do I see others and treat others with kindness?

Am I…of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature, showing sympathy or understanding; charitable; humane; considerate; tolerant. (Free Online Dictionary)

Ruth was this:  friendly, generous, showing understanding, considerate, tolerant.  She was kind to Naomi.  In turn, Boaz was kind to Ruth.

When Ruth is picking up leftover barley in the fields of Boaz in order to feed herself and Naomi –

8 Boaz went over and said to Ruth, “Listen, my daughter. Stay right here with us when you gather grain; don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. 9 See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.”

10 Ruth fell at his feet and thanked him warmly. “What have I done to deserve such kindness?” she asked. “I am only a foreigner.”

11 “Yes, I know,” Boaz replied. “But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers.12 May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.”  Ruth 2: 8-12

Ruth’s kindness to Naomi was known throughout Bethlehem.  Her reputation as kind proceeded her.  In return, Boaz showed kindness, showing Ruth special attention.

And, I know deep within my heart that life could be that simple. 

We should simply be kind. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Colossians 3:12

Be kind to one another. That’s what the charming 84-year-old man knew as a key to life.  Kindness.

So, let’s be kind. To our friends. To our husbands. To our children.  To our moms and dads. To the bank teller. To the waitress.  To our neighbors.  To the lady honking at you when the light turns green.  To the customer service representative. To everyone.

Be kind.

The little girl’s blond hair flips and flops as she runs around the park.  Anyone observing would see a happy child who loves the outdoors, playing after school with her sister and nanny.

I watch her shoot down the slide and sway on the swing.  I love that she’s smiling  – even if for this moment – she’s decided that life is good…normal.  I am undone when she and her sister present me with a bouquet of flowers, freshly picked from the playground’s lawn.

Her sister is just as sweet.  We swing side by side, discussing frozen yogurt flavors and toppings.  Turns out we both love cake batter with a variety of toppings.

But, I know.

I know that in August this little nine-year-old gal lost her momma to breast cancer.  I know her smiles can quickly become frowns.  I know she loves her daddy but misses her mommy.

She also has two sisters, five and three, living in this nightmare.  Little girls should never sit in the funeral home as their mommy lays unmoving – gone – in a casket.

I listen as her nanny gives the 10-minute warning…girls, we’re leaving soon.  She turns to me and says that meltdowns can be avoided with such warnings. The nanny’s in her early 20s; she picks these little gals up from school daily and takes them for ice cream or to the playground – or both.  She showers them with kisses, hugs, and words of love and affirmation.  She disciplines when necessary, but loves always.

And, I am reminded that only God…only God could orchestrate this meeting of lonely little girls with a sweet college student who’s endured her share of pain and suffering too.

It’s a match made in heaven.  Literally.

I don’t know the whole story.  I only know part of the nanny’s story.  I’ve only spent a few hours with the three little gals who lost their momma to cancer.  But as I watch her swing the blond-haired sister from the monkey bars, I see God’s hand.

I see how He matched hurting hearts.  How He joined the hurting to create space for healing.  

How He prepared one hurting heart to understand the depth of another hurting heart.

And isn’t that what God does? Shows up on the most unexpected days in the most unexpected ways to love His children.

We are truly a gift to one another if only we see each other through HIS eyes.

I thought of God’s divine provision for three little gals who miss their momma and for an older gal who doesn’t understand her own.

I am reminded of Ruth and Naomi.  Of Rahab.  Of Miriam and Pharaoh’s daughter.  Of Jonathan and David.

From the beginning of time, God has given us one another.

Friends.  Family.  Baby sitters.  Sunday School teachers.  Pastors.  Small Group members.  Teachers.

But, most of all, He’s given us Himself.

And, I often forget this.  I am always thankful to Him for those he’s placed in my life.  I look to Him and whisper thank you each time I see His divine hand in my relationships and the relationships of others.  But, in the midst of noticing, embracing, and loving all those who surround me, I often forget…

Jesus is my friend.  Sure, He gives friends – intertwines the lives of three little gals with an amazing nanny – but He gives us Himself too…

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other. John 15: 12-17

The command is clear:  Love one another.  Lay down your life for your friends.  But, the next part is the part I often forget to embrace:  I have called you friends.  

We didn’t choose Him as we choose other friends; He chose us.  He chose you to be his friend, sister.  When you’re alone or with your best friend.  When your chasing sweet little gals in the park or walking alone alongside a stream.

He is there.  He is your friend.  Your relationships and connections viewed in the context of His story make them all the better and fruitful.

In fact, our story only makes sense and only matters within the context of HIS story.  When we can see His divine hand at work for His glory and purposes.

I pray you are recognizing those He’s given to you…I pray you show His love to them. But, most of all, I pray you remember that He’s your first friend. The only One to whom you can and should always run.

Be thankful for those God’s given to walk alongside you, but give utmost gratitude to the ONE who is always there, waiting…loving…listening…forgiving.

I rounded the sharp curve on the rural road.

That’s it.  We’re here.

And with those words I pulled into the gravel on the side of the road.

Five years.

I had not seen or sat in this place for five years – intentionally.

I kept my sunglasses on, a shield against the bright sun and a veil for my emotion.  No turning back now.

A friend had volunteered to go with me.  She breaks the silence by offering to stay in the car.  “Do you need to go alone? I can stay here and wait.  Whatever you’d like.”

I consider her offer. I don’t really want to do this alone.

We open the doors. It’s a beautiful day. The wind’s blowing, the sun’s shining, and somehow I know this is God saying welcome.

I realize my idle chatter about wearing flip flops and the mushy ground is just that – idle.  Pointless.  I don’t want to be overcome with emotion and the only way to keep it in check is to chatter.  So I do.

Slowly, we walk among the headstones, reading name after name of those who have passed from this life.  We stop periodically, reading tributes and noting dates.

Beloved Husband.

Infant Girl.

Loving Wife.

1815, 1923, 1942, 1981, 2005.

Some stones are new and shiny. Others are broken, mossy, and unreadable.

I pause occasionally and explain my relationship to the one listed on the headstone.  Great aunts and uncles seem to surround me.  So much loss.  Connected to every stone is a family missing a loved one.

We keep walking; before I know it, I am there.  My grandpa’s grave marker directly in front of me, and I know….my dad’s is on the backside.

I last stood in this spot on January 10, 2008.  I listened as my childhood friend, Chad, honored my dad.  I watched as a family friend stood in the background beside the machine that would move dirt, covering my dad’s casket.

Misting rain, cool winds, and gloomy skies. How appropriate for this day that none of us had seen coming.  The rain matched my tears, the winds my shifting emotions, and the gloomy sky my heavy heart.

But, on this day, the weather symbolized the passing of those tears, emotions, and heaviness.

The clear sky reminds me God is clearing my heart of bitterness and anger.  No daddy’s girl ever understands such an untimely death. The blowing winds remind me God is ushering in a new day, a new outlook, and healing.   The bright blue skies remind me God is my Creator.  He is in control.  He is sovereign, and his timing is always prefect.

I stare at my dad’s headstone, talking  to him in my heart.  I miss you.  I love you.  You’d love the kiddos that Hannah and Owen have become.  You’d love the friend standing behind me.  I am sorry I didn’t bring flowers. You wouldn’t have wanted me to waste the money anyway.  It’s a beautiful day, Dad.  You’d be camping or on the front porch watching cars pass.  I work at a homeless shelter now. You’d love hanging out there and talking to the people since you love story as much as me.  Owen does too. I live in Ohio now, but I still love the Mountaineers.  Steve is good.  He’s still loving me despite me as you always did.  Life is good, Dad.  You did good in so many ways.

And, finally…

I am so sorry I’ve not been here before now.  I couldn’t come.  I am an avoider, Dad. You know that.  I got it from you. But, I am here today.  To say I love you and move forward.

Move forward.

How in the world do we do that?  After we lose a loved one. After the divorce.  After the cancer.  After the harsh words.  After the unfair decision. After the job loss.  After the affair.  After the sin.  After feeling forgotten, forsaken, and unloved.

How do we move forward? 

How can we even want to heal when pain is predictable and forward is foreign? 

In Ruth 3:3, Naomi tells Ruth to put on her best clothes.  Ruth will no longer live with Naomi; it’s time for her to move forward, seeking a husband.

My Bible study followed this verse with…

We have known a time when God asked us to take off our clothes of mourning, clinging, grasping, wishing, hoping, striving, even praying for something…and move forward…The Lord asked me how long I was going to mourn for the old because, indeed, he had something new for me ahead.  It was time for me to move forward – without my mourning clothes.  Here’s the deal:  When we’re wrapped in garments of mourning, we’re unavailable for whatever else God has for us. In a sense, we take ourselves out of the game…My simple hope is when God has held us, healed us, and lifted our heads, that we’d be ready to move forward with Him; and though our hearts may always ache, we won’t stay in mourning clothes forever.

And then the author asked…

Do you sense that God is asking you to throw off some weighty garments? 

Unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, discontentment, jealousy, mourning, or anything else that might be keeping you in a stagnant place?

My heart whispered yes.

Unforgiveness turning to bitterness?  Check.  Over a year’s passed since the event, but I know there’s some unforgiveness in my heart lurking on any given day.

Jealousy feeding discontentment?  Check.  Doesn’t it seem everyone else has a perfect life?  They smile back at you via Facebook photos, enjoying a night out with the girls while you burn yet another meal.

It’s time to change our clothes.  No more mourning clothes.  No more unforgiving and jealous clothes….

21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:1-24

10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. Colossians 3:10

18 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:18-19

Do you need to move forward?  Putting on a new self and refusing to dwell in the past?

If so, begin by letting the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.  Memorize and dwell on and in His Word.  Pursue holiness. Be thankful.

Trust in Him, leaning not on your own understanding.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Surrender to Him.  (Matthew 10:39)

Find rest in Him. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Transform through the renewing of your mind. (Romans 1:1-2)

Live thankful. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 and Psalm 30: 11-12)

Abandon self to Him and for Him. Meditate on His Word. Commit to prayer. Listen for His voice.  Wait on Him always. 

Can I pray for you as you “change your clothes”?  I’d love to intercede for you.

It was a day much like today.  Breezes blowing.  Sun shining.  Birds chirping.

We’d been confined indoors for months waiting for the winter to pass.  Sitting at desks longing to run and play in the sunshine peeping through the classroom windows.

Today was the day.  Recess wouldn’t be in the gym or in the classroom.  We were headed outside!

Running, jumping, playing on the swings, see saws, and slides.  I could barely contain the tapping of my anxious feet as I watched the time tick by on the clock.  A few more minutes…

The bell rang signaling freedom.

We burst through the doors and sprinted to the playground, the sun shining on our jacket-clad backs.  I was ecstatic.  Spring was here.  Summer was coming.

After wearing out the swings, my friends and I decided to play kickball with some older kids.

Dirt swirled as we lined up on the baseball field.  Two fifth grade boys stood as team captains – one bouncing the red ball as he perused the line up of available players.

One by one the boys chose.

One by one my friends took their places on a team.

Until…I stood alone.  Not chosen.  Not picked.  Not included.

Finally, a boy assigned my team, not because I was wanted but because someone had to take me.

I was only 10, but I can still hear, smell, and feel that day.  Until then, I’d always been chosen.  I was smart and sweet – just not athletic.  I was chosen by teachers and friends for spelling bees and sleepovers.  But, this time?

Unwanted.

I never tried another sport, scared I wouldn’t be chosen for the team.

Sadly, I continued living in that space for years.  I even live in it some today.

I think…I would love to [insert dream here], but what if they say no?  What if they don’t think I’m worthy?  I choose not to ask, fearing the answer.

Fearing rejection.  Fearing failure. 

I don’t want to be the one standing on the baseline while all the others stare back at me.

So, I stay out of the game.

But, we can’t stay out of the game.

We can’t sit on the sidelines, waiting to be chosen. There’s a world who needs us.

We are chosen. 

By Him. 

3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. 4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1: 3-5

Merriam Webster’s defines chosen as one who is the object of choice or of divine favor: an elect person

You are already selected, elected, and chosen.  An object of His divine favor.  You don’t have to stand on the sideline and wait for God – or man – to choose you. Through the power of the Spirit living in you, you can choose yourself…

4 We know, dear brothers and sisters,that God loves you and has chosen you to be his own people. 5 For when we brought you the Good News, it was not only with words but also with power, for the Holy Spirit gave you full assurance that what we said was true…1 Thessalonians 1:4-5

In fact, when you’ve been chosen by Him, living on the sidelines and waiting to be chosen, invited, or picked can be disobedient.

Being chosen is a call to action:

12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 

16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3: 12-17

As one commentary explains, God’s choice of you…”the Bible never teaches that it dulls human responsibility.  On the contrary, as this verse shows, it is precisely because the Christian has been elected to eternal salvation that he must put forth every effort to live the godly life.  Divine sovereignty and human responsibility go hand in hand.”

We can’t sit this life out, waiting.  We must clothe ourselves in mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience and enter the mess, allowing for each other’s faults, forgiving when offended or left out.

We must put on love, which will bind us together in community, allowing the peace from Christ to rule in our hearts, being thankful always and in all things.

We must teach and counsel one another in the wisdom He gives us, singing praises to Him with thankful hearts…always remembering – in whatever we do – that we are HIS representatives – HIS CHOSEN.

This life?  It’s not a sideline life.  While we may still feel unloved, rejected, and left out sometimes, may we choose to live our lives as chosen by Him, especially when not chosen by others.

You’re chosen.  Today, tomorrow, forever.  Don’t wait any longer for the “day to come” or “the group to include you” – live chosen.

As a young bride she never imagined her husband would die in a few short years.  Alone.  The chance for remarriage in her culture? Slim to none.  A life of poverty seemed certain.

She’d met her husband while he and his family visited from a foreign land. Now, it was time for his mom to return, for she was alone too.  Her husband and sons had all died.

To go or to stay?  That became the question.  Going with her mother-in-law would not be easy.  She’d have to turn her back on her people, never to see her family again. If she stayed, she might get a chance to remarry. Might.  If she went?  Chances at remarriage in a land of people who despised her kind would be even less.  Planting new roots would be nearly impossible.

What hope did she have?  The future looked bleak.

Can you identify with this sweet gal?  Labeled by her ancestry and past.  Mistakes made.  Wrong paths chosen.

Labeled by those around her as lowly, used, and hopeless. Future looking lonely.

If I were Ruth, I may have thrown my hands in the air, returned to my idols and lived among my people.  But, she didn’t. She made a choice.

She chose God. 

The moment Ruth joined Naomi on her journey to Bethlehem, she was all in.  The decision made deep in her heart to go and be with Naomi always.  She bravely left her homeland and courageously planted roots in a foreign land.  A place that considered her people lowly.  A place that worshipped the one true God.

Upon arriving, Ruth began looking for a field.  A place to glean, picking up leftover grain so she and Naomi could eat.

Leftovers.

The remains after everyone has chosen.

In many ways Ruth seemed “leftover” – a widowed Moabite, trailing her Hebrew mother-in-law.  Eating the grain “leftover” after the workers harvested.

To the world she was ….a Moabite, a widow, lowly, poor, second-class, hopeless.

To God she was…His child, chosen as part of Jesus’ lineage, first-class, forgiven, loved, adopted.

Ruth was anything but leftover. 

I am anything but leftover. I needed reminded of that this week, for I often struggle with the labels slapped on my life by culture.

To the world I am…wife, mom, Christian, teacher, writer, friend, recovering, broken. And with those labels comes a host of expectations and ideals that I rarely feel fit my life, which leaves me searching, flailing, frustrated, and struggling to be all everyone expects me to be.  Knowing…I will never measure up.

I don’t think I even want to.

Thankfully….to God I am…

Loved.                (Galatians2: 20, Ephesians 2: 4-5, 1 John 3:1)

Chosen.              (1 Peter 2:9, Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1: 4-6)

Known.               (Psalm 139: 1-4)

Purposed.          (Psalm 138: 8, Jeremiah 29:11; Jeremiah 1:5)

New.                     (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Rescued.              (Ezekiel 34: 11-12; Philippians 4:13

Adopted.              (Ephesians 1:5)

Righteous.           (Romans 3:24)

Forgiven.              (Ephesians 1:7)

Free.                       (Romans 8:2, Colossians 2:11, Romans 6:18)

Holy.                      (1 Corinthians 1:2,1 Corinthians 1:30; Ephesians 1:4)

Complete.            (Colossians 2:10)

Masterpiece.      (Ephesians 2:10)

Beautiful.             (Psalm 139: 13-16)

Light.                      (Matthew 5:14)

This is who Ruth was.  This is who you are.  You are not the labels stuck on you or the roles assigned to you.  First and foremost you are loved, chosen, known, purposed…by Him and for His glory.

The next time you’re wondering, asking…who am I?  Simply fill in this blank with any of those words and proclaim the promise given to you by God in His Word.

Hello My Name Is ________________

It’s one of my favorite songs this week:  Hello my name is child of the one true king, I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, and I’ve been set free.

So have you.  I pray this week and always you live out of your identity in Him, not the one dispensed by the world.

After all, you’re the child of the one true king.

In the midst of the craziness and the pain and things that overwhelm us, can we sit at the table and share in that for which we are thankful?  Because that is where, together, I know we will find our joy.  Sara Frankl

A friend and I were talking about Good Friday.  We longed for a time of worship, communion, and Scripture.  No frills or extras.  No expectations.  Just to sit at His feet and say thank you.

A time at the table, sharing in that for which we are thankful…His death for our sins and resurrection.

We’re blessed to know some talented musicians who agreed to lead us in worship for an hour in my basement.  We bought some bread and grape juice, lit a few (ok, way too many) candles, and sat down on couches and bean bags.  My daughter read about the Passover from Luke, and I read about His crucifixion from Matthew.  A friend prayed and another friend read a blessing over us.

It was simply beautiful.

Watching families…husbands and wives…take communion together. Some standing.  Some on their knees.

It reminded me of my desire and God’s directive a few weeks ago to get back to the heart of worship.  NOT what we’ve made it. But a time that’s all about Him alone.

It also reminded me that where two or more are gathered in His name – He is there (Matthew 18:20).  Whether in my basement…at the park…in a million dollar church building…wherever.  He joins us when we gather in His name.

While I love the teaching and opportunities at my church, I sometimes get wrapped up in church.  Just doing church.  Programming and process.  I often forget to simply worship my Savior who died and rose again.

So, I loved being still, knowing He is God.  Sitting on a bean bag, listening to the beautiful voice of a sweet gal, thanking Him for all He’s done, is doing, and will do.  Remembering that I can worship Him in many places  – not just at “church” – that in fact, this was church.

I look forward to many more basement worship services…I look forward to Sunday mornings in my church building…I look forward to my family’s Bible study each morning.  I love all of it.

I just hope we all remember the importance of worshipping Him always.  Living in a spirit of gratitude.  Thinking outside the box of a church building when it comes to sitting at His feet.  Engaging in worship with just a few in our homes.  Worshipping Him love throughout the week, not just on Sunday.

This weekend was awesome.  Good Friday, Easter Sunday with my family, and my sister’s 40^th birthday celebration.  I ended Lent with way too much diet Pepsi and the realization that I’ve been living WAY out of balance.  I plan to write about it as soon as I muster up the courage to admit the realities of my messy heart and a few failures that make me want to kick myself.

But, for today, I am clinging to my Living Proof memorization verse for April 1:    ⁸ “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8

This is the week.

The week the Savior of the world rode into Jerusalem on a colt.  The crowds spread out their clothing and palm leaves, welcoming him, shouting Hosanna!

But, in one short week, these shouts of Praise God in the highest!  Hosanna! became Crucify Him!

What a difference a week makes in the hearts and minds of man.

The human heart can be swayed and steered so easily.  We stand strongly one day and fall weakly the next.

And as a result of this humanness, falling seems inevitable.  Beliefs we once proclaimed loudly and held tightly become whispered and slippery as we find ourselves influenced by the crowds and circumstances.

We live in a broken, sinful world, hurting one another all too easily.  Shouting Crucify him! when we should be shouting Hosanna!

It’s not IF we will fail Him and hurt others, but WHEN.  It’s not IF we will suffer or experience trials – it’s WHEN.  In fact, throughout God’s word we are warned that trials ARE coming…

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  James 1:2

6 So be truly glad.There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 1 Peter 1:6

22They encouraged them to continue in the faith, reminding them that we must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God. Acts 14:22

I’ve suffered in this life; I bet you have too.  I’ve also stood alongside friends and family as they’ve endured hardship and heartbreak.  In these times, conversations with God often sound like this…

What now?  How do I move forward out of or away from this heartache?  Lord, I feel stuck – unable to move from this spot.  Yes, I love you.  Yes, I know you’re working all things together for good.  I know your promises.  Still…my heart and life seem paralyzed. I want to move, but I can’t.  I am simply too broken to serve you or proclaim your name or lead again. 

Does any of that sound familiar?  You’re in the midst of or recovering from life-altering suffering.  You feel God is in your heart, but He’s just not showing up; He’s not moving you, directing you out of or away from the pain.  You’re still mourning your sin, your failure, a loss. Some days smiling; other days weeping.

What in the world do you do?

You weep forward.  Away from what is or was and toward God.

I wish I could take credit for this idea of weeping forward. I can’t.  I am participating in a Bible study on Ruth, and my thoughts on being “stuck” in or after suffering were forever altered when I read this in Kelly Minter’s study this week:

My friend wept, but she wept forward… It’s possible to cry and walk.

Naomi’s husband and sons had died.  She was left with two Moabite daughters-in-law:  Ruth and Orpah.  When Naomi decided to return to her home in Bethlehem, she didn’t expect these gals to go with her.  She thought they’d remain and try to marry a Moabite.  Besides, an Israelite arriving in the Promised Land with two Moabite women in tow wasn’t all that appealing since God forbade intermarriage between the two groups.

8 But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes. And may the Lord reward you for your kindness to your husbands and to me. 9 May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage.” Then she kissed them good-bye, and they all broke down and wept.

10 “No,” they said. “We want to go with you to your people.”

11 But Naomi replied, “Why should you go on with me? Can I still give birth to other sons who could grow up to be your husbands? 12 No, my daughters, return to your parents’ homes, for I am too old to marry again. And even if it were possible, and I were to get married tonight and bear sons, then what? 13 Would you wait for them to grow up and refuse to marry someone else? No, of course not, my daughters! Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.”

14 And again they wept together, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye. But Ruth clung tightly to Naomi. 15 “Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.”  Ruth 1: 8-15

Orpah wept and turned back.

Ruth wept and moved forward.

Both experienced great grief – loss of a husband and family.  Both were clinging to their mother-in-law as all they had left.  Gut-wrenching weeping.

One wept forward into the new, and one gave in, returning to the old.

Ruth promised Naomi:  Where you go, I’ll go.  Where you stay, I’ll stay (verse 16)

We can see evidence of weeping forward toward Kingdom gain and backward toward Kingdom loss throughout God’s word.

In Acts 20, Paul weeps with the church when it’s time for his departure.  He must go; he’ll never see them again. But, God’s called him away for Kingdom work.  Paul weeps forward.  In the pain and heartache of goodbye, Paul recognizes God’s call and honors it, crying as he walked away from what he knew and loved in route to fulfilling God’s plan.

In Mark 10, we meet a rich man who asks Jesus, What must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus responds, Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.  At this the man’s face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.  Either way – selling and following OR keeping and walking away – caused weeping.  The grief could either move him toward Jesus – or away from Him. This man chose not to weep forward.

In your tears, sorrow, grief, and loss, I pray you decide to weep forward – toward Jesus, seeking His face and doing His work.  Whether the suffering occurred yesterday or years ago, it’s time to move forward.

Act.  Take a step forward toward Him.

Don’t stop. Don’t turn around.  Don’t give up.  By all means, cry.  Mourn. Weep.  Hurt.

But, weep forward toward the only One that makes all things new.  The only One who gives joy – Christ Jesus our Lord.

In June 1999 I sat in my office at West Virginia University.  I’d been experiencing migraines and had an MRI scheduled.  But, I was sick.  So sick.

I couldn’t type one more word…I needed help before I passed out.  I went to my friend Robin’s office, describing my symptoms.  We agreed I should go to the hospital.

I was 23 years old.  Steve and I were about to celebrate our one-year anniversary.  I loved my job at the University and had enrolled in a master’s program.  My life was planned daily, monthly, and yearly. Or, so I thought.

As I sat in the emergency room at Ruby Memorial Hospital, I made deal after deal with God.  Please don’t let this be a tumor.  I’d been checked before.  If you make me well, God, I will…do anything for you.  Anything.

The doctor entered smiling from ear to ear.  I will never forget the look on his face, and he said…

Mrs. Farish, you’re not sick.  You’re pregnant.

Pregnant?

Huh?

Was God kidding?  Me? A mom?  It just didn’t seem I could be or should be responsible for another life.

On March 22, 2000, I gave birth to that precious gift from God – Hannah Grace.  After 27 hours of labor, she entered the world weighing 8 pounds and 15 ounces, with a smile on her face and barely a wimper from her lips.

And, that’s how she’s been.  Smiling always, quarreling never.

Most days I look at her and think…could this be my child?  God, what did I do to deserve the gift of Hannah?

Tender-hearted.  Loving. Smart.  Funny.  Graceful. Sincere. Honest.

She loves Jesus more than anyone I know and lives out that faith in our home and community by loving and serving well.

We are blessed to share our world with her.

You may remember that all Hannah wanted for her birthday was yarn for Hats of Hope- a ministry she began to provide hats to those who have lost hair due to illness.  As of yesterday, she had almost 80 skeins of yarn.

The plan was for me to deliver the hats to hospitals in Honduras when I go in June.  Until…Hannah shared with me that she’d been praying and thinks God’s calling her go.

No.  Not happening.  Too dangerous.  Too expensive.  And, too dangerous. Yes, too dangerous.  And, what might she see there?  The hungry bellies and homeless hearts that leave me despairing when I’m there?  Do I want her to know about that?  Do I want her to see what I’ve seen?

Poverty. Injustice.  Despair.

And…

Hope.  Joy.  Love.

Hannah wanted to respond to God – to our teaching of Him.  And, I was saying no.

No was the WISE answer, right?  It’s crazy to take my sweet, innocent child to such a dangerous country.  Crazy.

Weeks of prayer alone and as a family ensued.  To say I wrestled?  Understatement.  Steve and I know THIS decision is huge.  But, we know…

God calls us to crazy.  Noah built a boat when it had yet to rain.  Fisherman dropped everything and followed a man teaching things that many said were crazy.

God was answering all the prayers we’d uttered for Hannah since her birth. So, in honor of her 13th birthday, we are giving her a letter today, honoring her request to accompany me to Honduras…

After much prayer, we have decided you should join mom in Honduras this summer.  This is our commitment to pray for your trip and help you raise funds.  We are proud of you for seeking God and answering his call to a country that is in desperate need of those like you who want to love and serve well.

And that moment in the emergency room when I looked heavenward, saying to God…Me?  A Mom?  Huh?

I still live that moment much.  I daily feel unequipped and inadequate as a mom.  Hannah loves cooking, scrap booking, and sewing.  I love…well, none of that.  Most of all, I want to shepherd her well, instilling a deep faith that won’t collapse at the first sign of trouble.  Steve and I know we can’t do that alone.

I asked 13 women to step into Hannah’s world over the next few months.  Each of them wrote a prayer for Hannah and made a promise to her.  I am so thankful for each of these ladies who have committed to sharing their gifts from and heart for Him with Hannah.

I made Hannah a Prayers and Promises book on behalf of these amazing ladies…

While I love being your mom, sharing your dreams, praying for your heart, and shaping your faith, I realize that I can’t and shouldn’t do this alone.  In Titus 2, God tells us it’s important for older women to pour into younger women.  So, as you become a teen, I have asked 13 amazing women to write a prayer for you and make a promise to you. 

As you read each prayer, picture her saying those words to you and to Jesus on your behalf.  Having these ladies intercede for you, praying for your life and future is a priceless gift.  I hope you cherish each prayer, reading them again and again. 

With her prayer, each gal also promises to give you the gift of her time…Elaine and Shelby will teach you to bake; Jen W. will teach you about Honduras; Ashley will teach you about health and fitness while Amanda shows you how to mother well.  Jen I. will take you to ride horses and paint.  You and Emily will do crafts; Angie will teach you to cook while sharing some of her favorite worship music.  Sue will teach you to knit, and Lisa will teach you to study God’s Word in depth.  Aunt Dawnna will continue to be your second mom, loving and caring for you.  You and I will also plan a fun day with Sarajane, Kylie, and Maggie while Kay covers you in prayer. 

And, I promise to love you well, praying for you each day.  As you grow and mature, pursuing your dreams and your God, please know deep in your heart that I love you more than words can express.  I thank God for the gift of you. 

Today we celebrate the gift of Hannah and the young woman she’s becoming.  We look back and see God’s faithfulness.  We look forward expectantly with Him as our hope – and Hannah’s hope.

From the emergency room “I am going to mother a child” panic, to the moment we go through customs in Honduras this summer, there is one thing I know…for sure.  He is sovereign over us.  God is in control Hannah’s life.  He has a plan for her life that far surpasses anything I could dream for her.

And so I pray, giving my teenage daughter to Him, trusting the One who fearfully and wonderfully knit her in my womb.  Trusting the One who knew the number of hairs on her head before she was born.  Trusting the One who holds each breath she takes in His hands.  Trusting her to Him.

Happy 13^th Birthday, Hannah!  You are loved.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  Proverbs 31: 25-26