This evening I’ve been cleaning out our sunroom, so we can transition it into my husband’s office. As I sorted books, I came upon two old Bibles – one a gift for my high school graduation and one given to me in commemoration of the day I accepted Christ.
It was emotional to remember that day: July 24, 1988. I had gone to church camp with a friend. I was 12 years old…almost 13. I remember sitting on a log bench listening as the pastor shared the gospel; I can see and hear him still. God’s calling to me was unmistakable in that moment. I knelt at an altar fashioned out of stacked stones amid tall trees. I remember the sunlight streaming through the trees, my peers singing praises acappella, and my young tween heart praying – knowing I would never be the same.
Fast forward 23 years…almost to the exact same day: July 27, 2011. I sat and listened as my son, Owen, talked with our children’s pastor – also our friend – and accepted Christ as his Savior. So, today, as I looked at my Bible from 1988, I was amazed as I thought about God’s plan and work in my life over the past 23 years. He knew when I walked forward in 1988 that 23 years later I would sit with my son as he accepted Christ. He knew I’d be a wife and mom. He knew my dad would be gone, and I would leave the church wishing I could share Owen’s salvation with him. I could go and on and on with “he knew’s” – I’ve been overwhelmed with them this evening. And, with each one of them I remember, I am more and more amazed at the God of the Universe’s work in my life.
Since school began on Monday, I have struggled a bit with not returning to my job. But, after today (although I may still struggle), I find complete contentment in knowing God is sovereign. He sees the bigger picture, and He knows why and how my life is as it is. Would I like to know too? Somedays, yes. But, as I reflect on the past 23 years…the twists, turns, grief, happiness, joy, devastation – situations that seem unforgivable, deaths that seem unfair and untimely mixed with moments that are unforgettable, joys that know no boundaries…I have decided I like not knowing. I like trusting in the LORD with all my heart and leaning not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). And, I am so glad that my thoughts are not His thoughts, neither are my ways His ways. (Isaiah 55:8).
I don’t know what you’re experiencing today. My friend’s sister has been sick for a while with no answers. Another friend’s dad is sick and answers are few. My mom called me today about a brief she’s prepping for the Supreme Court – a case that touched our lives when I was in college but was recently overturned. My son’s preschool teacher is fighting for her life as she suffers with cancer. I could go on. I know so many who are facing tough times today.
My prayer for each of them and you is that you lean into and rest in Him and his sovereignty. He loves you immeasurably. Pray and know that He has a bigger and better plan than any of us could ever imagine.