Why Does God Choose 3 a.m.?

I have so many partial posts on my desktop that I have had some trouble deciding what to finish/write about next.  Nothing seems ready to publish.  Nothing seems to be clicking.  I have gotten lots of texts and questions about homeschooling (mostly how’s it going?) – and that post is coming.  I have also gotten lots of questions about my weight – and the journey I am on – that post is floating about too.  But, this post gained some clarity this evening.

This morning I woke up at 3 a.m.  I woke up feeling an urgency that I can’t exactly articulate – like I had to get something done.  I tried and tried to go back to sleep, but I finally just got up.  Those who know me are probably thinking…Sarah getting four hours of sleep is no big deal.  True – a few months back – but I’ve been sleeping 6-7 hours a night on a regular basis.  So, this was odd.

I got up, opened my computer, and nothing.  Nothing jumped off the screen, nothing seemed urgent. So, I sat in silence thinking, “ I am not asking God because every time I do something changes; I am done with change for awhile.”  I’m sure you all know where this is headed, right?  I ended up askingJ!

He reminded me of a forgotten project; a passion that once burned  – but one I extinguished because – well, I let life and people take my fire.  So many “no’s” and naysayers – so many empty promises of “I’ll help” that I just gave up.  So many people telling me what to do and what not do that I stopped listening to God and praying about the situation and just stopped – end of story.

I’ll admit – giving up on this particular dream was a relief in many ways – as selfish as that sounds.  But, here it was – front and center at 3 a.m.  Me saying, nope, nope, and nope.  God saying listen, listen, listen.

Fast forward to 10 a.m.  I reluctantly headed to my first women’s Bible study.  This study is being let by a good friend, but I was still apprehensive, unsure, skeptical…and a host of other adjectives.  It’s a Beth Moore study – and I have/had a thing about her.   I went (mainly) because all my friends were going – great motive, huh?

First, Beth mentions being awake at 3 a.m.  – no kidding!  She said, “these are the things that matter at 3 a.m. when we can’t sleep.”  She was referencing our definition of blessing, and in the middle of the night, I am surely not thinking of “prosperity” or “cultural” blessings:  a new car or outfit.  No, my mind was on service to him, and how he seemed to be giving me a second chance.

Regardless of motive, my attendance was not coincidence.  Beth Moore asked us if our theology merges with our reality. Do I really believe and does my life really demonstrate that

  • God is who he says he is.
  • God can do what he says he can do.
  • I am who God says I am.
  • I can do all things through Christ.
  • God’s work is alive and active in me.

Yes, I believe all that, but does my belief merge with my reality?  Does my life reflect this faith I profess to have?  I think not.

I begin to think…what if I take him at his word?  What if I (or you) really believe him and live it out?  I know.  It seems trite or obvious or simple.  But, the answer if we take these questions to heart?  I’d/we’d pursue the impossible and improbable.  For me, the project that can only be completed by leaning on and trusting in God completely can be revived.

In fact, Beth noted that the number one hindrance to our calling is unbelief.  And, that’s my issue.  I don’t believe it will ever work out, come true, be real.  Why?  I don’t feel capable. That’s exactly where God wants me – incapable without him.

Today’s study included so much Scripture that I can’t begin to include or explain it all.  But, each and every verse connected for me as I wrote in my book and notebook, trying to catch each reference for later lookup.  Here a few that spoke directly to my 3 a.m. situation:

  • Ephesians 2:10:  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
  • Ephesians 1:18-20:  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms
  • Hebrews 3:7-18 (A warning against unbelief)

I feel as if this post is a bit disconnected.  There’s so much God’s saying to me, but I am simply unable to articulate it all. Still, I am posting because I pray if there’s something God has called you to do or if you’re struggling with unbelief that you seek, listen, study, pray, and follow.

Am I going to follow?  Am I going to begin pursuing the dream again?  Yes – albeit reluctantly.  The dream looks a bit different now, and I have no idea when I’ll make time to do the work.  But, I have to.  He said so:)

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. I didn’t find this post disconnected in the least.

    When God gets me up at 3, it’s usually because it’s the only time the line is free for Him to get a call through, metaphorically speaking.

    I connected with a lot in this post, Sarah – the pile of unfinished posts, letting too many naysayers steer the ship, needing to be called back to the starting point, needing to say yes again…

    Write on!

    • I love the Write On! / Right On! play on words…I was thinking…why didn’t I think of that? I am so guilty of letting naysayers at least influence if not steer my ship. Any time I do any thing, I ask at least 5 people before I decide. While I have benefitted from and appreciate Godly counsel from wise friends, I ask too much. Jen said to me once…when I KNOW it’s from God – when I am SURE – I don’t ask – I do. I need to be less of an asker and more of a doer. Thanks for the feedback:)

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