Where Have All the Dreamers Gone?

I don’t dream big enough.  Some time ago I placed God in a box, and there he’s remained.  I ask him to do what I know I can do, not what He can do through me.  It’s not that I fear failure; I’ve failed plenty.  I lack faith.

As I talked to my friend, Angie, last night, this became clear to me even though it’s a realization that’s been forming for a few weeks.

Angie just completed the Emmaus Walk.  I’d give you more details, but all I really know is that she left last Thursday, went to a camp without any timepieces or technology, and returned on Sunday.  Her experience was breathtaking; I could see it in her face and hear it in her words.

We shared what God spoke to each of our hearts last weekend.  And, the message was somewhat similar.

When did we stop dreaming?

When I was little girl, I dreamed of marrying a handsome boy, having four children, living in a house, and becoming a lawyer.

I continued dreaming in college.  My mom recently found a letter I’d written her the summer before my senior year at WVU in which I jokingly asked her to take on my responsibilities for the upcoming year which included:  planning a wedding; planning and hosting the Golden Key regional convention at WVU; interning at the Office of Admissions; acting as president of Mortar Board, a member of Mountaineer Council, some office in the Public Relations Student Society of America, and a host of other organizations; graduating from the Honors Program; and I could go on.  It was crazy!

My dreams were big, my commitments many, my support system amazing, and my God was faithful.  I prayed and he carried me. With a childlike faith, I asked him for the impossible countless times, not even knowing how “impossible” the ask was.

Did he show up every time? No.  But, I distinctly remember that when I failed or when a dream deflated, I still praised Him.

So, what happened?  When did I quit dreaming?  When did I box up my faith?

My dreams stopped when I felt the weight of this world, complete with its expectations and degradations.

I believed a culture that told me I was made for the American dream- pursue it.  Make money, climb the ladder, buy a house, buy a car, become popular, work your fingers to the bone, make your life appear perfect.  Go to bed.  Get up.  Repeat.

It doesn’t work.

Why?  We were made for more. I was made for more.  And that “more” comes only from God.  That longing in me can only be filled by Him (thanks, Angie:).  My husband, my children, food, exercise, friends, my care group, my family, or stuff can’t fill the longing.  Only He can.

And, my God wants me to dream big.  He wants me to ask him to do immeasurably more through me for His glory.  He wants me to have big faith.

God reminded me this morning of Nehemiah, who rebuilt the wall around Jerusalem in 52 days.  Despite opposition, injustice, and a conspiracy, Nehemiah cries out to God, asking for help, believing in His faithfulness.  God frustrates the plans of Nehemiah’s enemies (Nehemiah 4:15), and Nehemiah boldly proclaims to those working on the wall in 4:20, “Our God will fight for us.”

That same God fights for me today – and you.

Have you stopped dreaming?  Is your faith human size or God size?

I pray you remember that dreams come in all shapes and sizes.  My “dream” for today is to make much of Him…for someone to see his glory today…maybe even through me.

My “dream” for tomorrow?  Next year?  God recently gave me a new dream, a new path.  I am praying for the courage to dream big again for His glory.  I am praying for a new, God-size faith to take the first step.  I pray you will, too:)!

 

Links

Catalyst/ Are You Present?

Nehemiah

Comments

  1. Sarah, I don’t know if you remember me, or not. We went to Poca together. My maiden name was Schoolcraft. I just want to tell you how much reading this post blessed me. I think it is so beautiful that you share your faith so openly and honestly. I can tell that God is working mightily through you. You’ve had almost the same revelation that I’ve been working on lately. I’m starting to realize that I’m not really having enough faith in Him for the big things, and honestly sometimes even the little things. I haven’t been relying on Him enough in my daily life either. I’m very glad you shared this because it has been very helpful to me. Thank you, and may God continue to bless you. I’ll keep you in my prayers!

    Love in Christ,
    April

    • I do remember you! Thanks so much for your kind comments…and prayers. Having faith is hard. In my Bible study this morning we talked about faith as small as a mustard seed moving mountains. I’m not there yet, but I know God is moving me there:) I’ll be praying for you too!

      • I love this: “He knows you. He knows your heart. And He cares so much about you that even when you need to be purend, to be refined, God is deliberate and thoughtful in every detail.” Yes, God can be trusted with the details of our lives. Beautiful!

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