Renee Fisher ~ I Survived My 20’s {Story 16 of 30}

Forgiveness is an issue close to my heart.

When I couldn’t handle the pressure of an issue from my past–I locked myself in my room for about four months with little to no social interaction.

I almost envy you, the reader, because you don’t know what it’s like to live what you’re writing.

But maybe you do.

Maybe you know the feeling of hazardous faith and the sting of abandonment.

Have you ever felt emotionally drained to the core? Exposed. Your life is on display for all to see like a tree showing its roots. It seems like every negative habit that over the course of your life has reared its ugly head.

The way you respond to pressure, criticism, loneliness, etc. It’s like you can’t do anything right.

If you’re anything like me–God has to reach down and press deep into your soul to help you get it into your thick skull that you need to know Him.

But how?

It’s hard to know how to receive God’s love when you feel abandoned. Your present troubles may be feel hazardous to your health. I know.

Have you ever been there?

The message of the cross is real. It is hard but forgiving.

Fear doesn’t slay the dragon in the mind,

“How will I take care of myself?” we sob.

Your body may feel wretched. Maybe we even smell the stench of Satan.

You know deep down in your heart—that you must go back to the place where discouragement happened.

You need to forgive yourself for your own expectations of how you thought life should have turned out.

Life has a funny way of changing unexpectedly. Even when you feel like God is the one who told you to (fill in the blank) and suddenly you’re no longer with that person, at that job, or in perfect health.

No matter the situation–it’s still not about you.

Look at Job. He couldn’t hear God and Satan arguing about his faith. God gave Satan permission to send all kinds of trials and ruin his life–and yet somehow Job knew it was bigger than just him.

In the midnight hour—when darkness circles around you, it’s okay to sit down in distress and weep with heavy sobs.

Like Job, God can handle your questions.

He can even handle your anger.

When I asked God to take away my rash and He didn’t right away–I was devastated.

Like you, I have experienced the harsh reality of unforgiveness.

Lingering sadness.

Desperate circumstances.

Through the message of the cross we can give up control for the future we wanted.

In our sufferings, we have the awesome privilege of identifying with Jesus. Once we take up our cross we find hope.

It’s amazing how one act of surrender, submission, and humility can help us regain control.

Not bad control, but good.

Giving up doesn’t mean in a million years that you are a failure. It gives God the ability to do what He already said He’ll do–take over.

Maybe you’re not in a place to look back and see how your faithfulness has paid off.

All your tears.

Lost job/relationship/whatever.

God can and will use everything. He didn’t leave one fleck of our story done. He healed it all. And now we see how God shaped and molded His future for your life. Did you catch the difference?

It’s not about me.

We can trust Him when we’re faced with the deepest, darkest night of the soul.

Say this out loud with me,

“I refuse to allow my disbelief, pain, and the horror of the present cause me to doubt. After death comes life. There is hope in Jesus.”

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Renee Fisher is a spirited speaker and author of Faithbook of JesusNot Another Dating Book, & Forgiving Others Forgiving Me (Summer, 2013). She loves her husband and their rescued pit bull named Star. She blogs atwww.devotionaldiva.com.

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I met Renee – better known as the Devotional Diva – online.  I contacted her after seeing a post about her weight loss journey.  When I messaged her, I met a sweet, caring gal who loves Jesus.

This statement hit home for me:  You need to forgive yourself for your own expectations of how you thought life should have turned out.  I had a very clear picture of what my life would be.  My life is not  THAT life.  I had different expectations…different plans.  I need to forgive myself for  those and for all the ways I feel I’ve “failed” to be who I and others thought I’d be.

I am who God says I am, living the life He scripted.  Thankfully, through the message of the cross we can give up control for the future we wanted.  

After all, it’s not about me.  Or you.  It’s all about Him.

Thanks for your insight and wisdom, Renee!

Comments

  1. Loved this: “God has to reach down and press deep into your soul to help you get it into your thick skull that you need to know Him.” It took years for God to finally break through my thick skull that I could not do this on my own. He had a better way. So thankful I finally surrendered. Beautiful post.

  2. Carla Sloter says:

    Love this Sarah! I have days where I still need to get it through my thick skull. Thank you for sharing ( as always)

    • You’re welcome, Carla! I am so blessed to be sharing these stories. Each night when I read, reread, edit, and upload, I am in awe of God’s work. He is awesome!

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