I Want to Live Like That {Lent} {Distance from Him}

I am struggling to write today.  When I struggle with writing, it almost always means that I am struggling with God.

And, I am.

It’s day 36 of my Lenten journey.  Not long now until I will be “finished” with my diet-soda fast (woohoo!;)

And within these 36 short days, God has shown up.  Again and again.  Never how I thought he would or should, but he’s exposed areas in my life and heart that aren’t authentic and for Him.

For a recovering perfectionist and steadfast rule follower, it’s been difficult to take.  To hear God saying that some of my “rules” are faulty.  All of my life doesn’t point to Him. Tough.

In some ways, I am not living what I believe.

If I (or anyone else) look closely at my life, then my beliefs will be…should be evident.  In the words I say.  The choices I make.  The statuses I post.  The places I go.  The words I write.  Not perfect, but reflective of my life at least.

And sometimes, they’re not.

The perfectionist, people-pleaser in me gets caught up in towing the party line, fitting in, and pleasing others.

All at the expense of making Him known.  I protect my image.  I find myself slipping into roles as culture defines then, not as God has spoken to me about them.   I give in, going along to get along.

God reminds me of the song Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets…

I want to live like that.  And give it all I have.  So that everything I say and do points to you.  If love is who I am, then this is where I stand – recklessly abandoned never holding back. I want to live like that.  I want to show the world the love You gave for me…I am longing for the world to know the glory of the King.

I do.  I want to live like that.

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What would this life look like?  A life in which everything I say and do points to God? Am I living for God or man?

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

If love is WHO I am, then I live recklessly abandoned, never holding back when it comes to Him.  Because, ultimately, there’s an urgency within me to show the world the love HE gave for me.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I desperately want the world to know the glory of my King.  The one who saved me and works within me for His glory.

Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory.  It was I who created them.  Isaiah 43:7

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

To live a life that always points to Him, we have to stay connected to Him – always seeking His face. But we can’t stop at knowing, as I am often guilty of collecting knowledge and doing nothing with it.

When we know and choose not to follow, the result is a tension that separates us from Him.  Making us feel distant.  Disconnected. Without purpose.

Are you feeling distant from Him today? Disconnected?  Are you having a “what’s the point” moment?

I pray you sit at His feet, asking him what’s creating the distance.  Open His Word, seeking his promises and faithfulness.

He will answer when asked according to his will:  14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5: 14-15

And when He answers, obey.  Step forward into all He has for you.  Never holding back, showing the world the love He gave for you and the glory of your King.


  1. Wendy can Eyck says:

    I know exactly what you mean about how struggling with God and writing can be the same thing. Thanks for sharing.

    • You’re welcome, Wendy:) It seems when I struggle with God, I’ve almost lost my “connection” for writing. He writes through me.

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