I alternate between the clock and ceiling. Sometimes I study shadows on the walls or windows.
Sleep simply won’t come.
Life is messy and pondering all the what if’s and why’s and why not’s has me looking at everything except the backs of my eyelids.
I don’t know who to tell or even what to say. I am reminded that life in living rooms is often so different than façades on Facebook. Not that I’ve intentionally portrayed myself or my family untruthfully. But, social media only gets the smiles, not the tears.
I send a message to a good friend who lives in New York. I’ve never met her in person. We’ve Skyped and chatted on the phone. We’ve emailed and collaborated. Undoubtedly, we are kindred spirits and would be BFF’s if only miles didn’t separate us.
As part of her ministry team, I feel compelled to update her on my life – struggles and all. I lead other woman on her behalf, and before we embark on a new session, I want her to hear my heart about my….well, heart.
I spill my guts in a Facebook message, preparing myself for her response. Trusting she knows best for me and for her ministry.
Whatever her response, I will trust. She is as authentic and loving as anyone I know.
Minutes later, she responds.
Hidden in the midst of her response were these words:
You know, with this ministry, I have this “grace place” feeling. We serve from our overflow. Sometimes there’s a lot. Sometimes there’s nothing. That’s okay because it’s not our ministry. It’s God’s. He’s got it covered even in our weakness and failings. I’m learning so much about this, for myself and as I witness the struggles others feel.
When we are weak, He is strong…strongest…always. So let’s be weak together and celebrate God’s strength at work in our mess.
So let’s be weak together and celebrate God’s strength at work in our mess.
THAT is a true friend offering immeasurable GRACE.
I don’t have to sit all alone in my weakness. In my mess. My friend sits with me. In humility, she is weak with me. She offers no fixes. No easy answers to my struggles. She offers herself. Her time. Her heart.
To be weak with me.
And best of all?
TOGETHER we will celebrate God’s strength at work in our mess.
How had I forgotten that God is at work in the mess? My friend isn’t leaving me. But, even better, GOD hasn’t left me and isn’t leaving me.
And in my weakness HE is strong.
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
I will celebrate His strength as I see Him working in my mess – in my weakness.
Extending grace to a struggling friend. Becoming weak with another. Celebrating God’s strength at work in our mess.
That’s living rescued. That’s living free.