to Change {Because It’s Unavoidable} {6 of 31 Days of Letters)

Dear Change,

You’re inevitable.  Unavoidable.

Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 5.17.52 PM

Just when I settle in, thinking I have life figured out – a system established, a routine created – you swoop in and shake me.

A job I’ll never leave…

A marriage forever and always…

A forever house beautifully decorated…

A church I will never leave…

Friends who will always walk alongside me…

Sixty pounds of lost excess weight…

Jobs change; marriages fail; houses sell; churches change; friends ignore; and weight returns.

Nothing in this world is sure and certain.

I used to hate you, feeling you continually striped me of people and things I love.  Navigating your effects is tiring:  A demanding job, a divorce label, a smaller home, a new church {new people}, different friends, a greater weight (again).

And in my tiredness, I’ve allowed you to turn ugly, wondering……Why embrace this job?  Why decorate the new house?  Why go on a diet?  Why try a new church?  Why make new friends?  Why? When you are inevitable, why begin again and risk you’re coming – again? 

Why get comfortable when I know – you’re lurking in next week and next year.

And as my thoughts spiral down, disliking and resenting you, I suddently stop.

My view of you?  The one that looks upon you with ill will and anger?  It’s wrong.

Change, you don’t have to be called evil, sad, and heartbreaking.

I can rename you kindness, gift, and hope.  Because you’re not taking my life – you are making my life.  Creating in me a heart that looks less like this world and more like my Creator.

Do not misunderstand – you’re hard.  You hurt.  But I am choosing a different opinion of your painfulness, deciding to see you as the refining fire through which we each go on our way to becoming more and more like Jesus.

My job?  It’s not a burden but a gift that pays my bills and allows my schedule to mesh with the schedule of my sweet middle and high schooler.

My divorce?  It’s allowing me to be me.  To discover who I am and parent my children as my God guides me. To grow and serve in new ways.

My house?  It’s a duplex – smaller – but with less and less stuff to clutter our lives and hearts.  It causes us to spend more and more time together as we have less space to scatter (loves grows best in little houses;)

My church?  It was long past my leaving the old and finding a new. The depth of hurt I’d experienced in the old should have been dealt with long ago.  I never should have stayed beyond 2007 when lies were told and cover ups occurred, yet I did.  So any remaining shrapnel flying in my heart came from my decisions, not theirs. After an almost year away from “church” in the traditional sense, I now venture back to a new body, knowing they will love my family well.

My friends?  Sometimes it’s best they change.  While I never consider people disposable, I know when moving on and setting boundaries are wise and healthy.  My current friends are beyond amazing.  The friends I will make – gifts too.  I’ve come to understand I can learn from each person who crosses my path, so I open my heart to their lessons.

My weight?  It’s been lost and gained more times than I can count.  But, the thought of embarking on you, change, is encouraging, hopeful.  Less of a mountain to climb and more of a path to walk this time.

So, change, you’re not so bad after all.

Best of all, you might come and go, but there is One you can’t affect. One is unchanging…

My Savior.

He’s there day after day  – teaching me – waiting on me when I turn away – walking alongside me as I move forward in Him.  And His word is FULL of good news about you, change – just so you know.  He promises…

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!In his great mercyhe has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s poweruntil the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealedin the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1: 3-9

_______________________________________________________

Are you in the midst of change?  Do you feel as if the change is defining your life?  Write a letter to change telling it that it’s not in control; God is.  A wise woman shared with me over the weekend that circumstances are not sovereign – God is.  Rest there. If you’d like to share your change or ask us to pray for your transition, we’d love to hear from you.

Much Love,

Comments

  1. Teresa Henry says:

    I have cried a lot of tears today. Your post pit my eyes back on the Lord. God is good all of the time.

  2. I believe that we cannot live by circumstances but live by that, all too often elusive TREE OF LIFE! It really bothers me when people say ” life sucks” or “life’s a bi%Ch” because to me, that’s impossible! Life….TRUE (Tree of Life) LIFE can only be amazing and full of beauty and pleasure. When Adam & Eve sinned they were kicked out of the Garden. The scriptures say that God placed angels with flaming swords at the entrance to essentially keep us out. But then Jesus comes along and breaks thru those swords of fire in John 10:10 when he says that the reason he came was to give us LIFE and not just the life that we lost in the garden but that LIFE and that LIFE more abundantly. He didn’t say that he came to be crucified our site for our sins! He said that he came to bridge the gap and break down the walls to the Garden…. to paradise where only beauty and joy and peace and wonder exists. Where God, himself (according to the scriptures) walks in the cool of the afternoon. I want that LIFE! That’s our inheritance that the Christ Jesus said is NYE or HERE …. Not in some far away heaven but right here, right now in our hell, our circumstances. Thank you for reminding me that there is no charge to re-enter that garden, that secret place where true life grows and invites us to taste it’s sweet sweet fruit. I wish you love and hope and LIFE and Freedom, Sarah. Thank you for your commitment and vulnerability in sharing so intimately with us. Love to you, David

    • David…I am always delighted when you comment. My heart has always wanted this blog to be a place where we learn from one another – and I have much to learn from you. We both know that we don’t completely agree on Jesus and all things Jesus. But, there’s beauty in that. Beauty in the conversation, helping one another to learn and grow and consider and wrestle. Your comment has caused me to reread parts of Genesis and John 10. It’s caused me to consider what I deem abundant and full. And I am pondering much about this life. Thanks, friend. We all make one another better. I appreciate you:) Love to you too!

  3. My friend, this is utterly magnificent. And so are you. I love you and your ever-changing {growing!} heart!

    • I love you too, friend. And I am soooo glad you came this weekend. I enjoyed Jessica too! Now…I await YOUR letter in this series…;)

  4. Love your writing & hope I will always be a friend!! You are an inspiration for so many……Love you!

    • Gayanne, I think you are one of the most authentic, loving ladies I know. I will always call you friend and mentor. When I counted the cost of leaving FBCW – those like you were the ones I counted as loss. Love you too!

  5. Kathy Ridge says:

    Appreciate your post on Change. You took something that can be very painful and flipped it upside down – just like our Jesus! He was always working to get people to change the way they looked at life. It’s healthy and encouraging. Keep on writing – your message is being heard. 😉

    Blessing to you this day!

Leave a Reply