Dear Porn {from a Wife and Friend} {11 of 31 Days of Letters}

from a my good friend…

Attached is my letter to Porn. I write this letter as a wife. A wife who has seen her husband work to be free from a lifetime of this junk, after being molested by a close family member for years. I write this as a formerly promiscuous gal who was groomed to believe that porn was her instruction manual, both for how she should look and for how she should act in order to become what men want. 

I write this as a woman who has seen victory happen from both of these perspectives, but only because of Jesus and His word. As a wife I have had to fix my eyes on Jesus and know that He will take care of me in those moments when the enemy is speaking lies, telling me that if I were just more [fill-in-the-blank], my husband wouldn’t have this problem. 

My husband had to turn completely to Jesus and ask Him to go back to the root of this addiction and rip it out, then continually surrender himself every single moment when the sin tries to come back at him. That promiscuous girl in me had to ask Jesus what really made her think that was okay or expected and… Trust Him to redefine her worth every day. 

So, although I wanted to be hateful and spew quite a few choice words to this perversion, I decided to take a tone of putting porn in its place. Although it seems as though its getting more rampant by the moment sometimes, there are also big movements starting that are anti-porn and the messages it spouts. One of them is fightthenewdrug.org, which seeks to educate how porn actually acts like cocaine or heroine in your brain and rewires things in a real bad way. Just one example of the way people are starting to view porn differently – thank God!
Screen Shot 2014-10-19 at 1.03.58 PM
_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Porn,

I am sure you’ve probably already noticed this, but we are on to you.

For all these years now, you’ve been in the dark, hidden behind closed doors and in seedy little shops dotted across those parts of town. You’ve been difficult to access, shrouded in shame. Your acquaintances have always had to dodge in and out of the shadows to meet up with you and make do with your company in secret.

But times, they have changed.

Now you are everywhere. Literally everywhere. You boast about how you don’t have to wait for anyone to come to you… you can be wirelessly delivered right to us on an invisible cloud. You relish the billions of dollars you rake in, and you love how seemingly normal you’ve become in our world. Millions of us have bought into your lies and images, becoming more and more lewd by the gigabyte.

And yeah, we know… you’ve always been all “don’t be a prude” and “it’s my right” and “freedom of speech” and such. What a joke. Everything about you is fake except the extent of the damage you cause.

You are every bit the opposite of freedom.  You’re straight-up slavery, exploitation, and lack of options for the ones you claim to employ. With one hand, you wreck and ruin your “stars” by coercing them into a life of degradation, cruelty, drugs, and disease.

On the other side of your business, you’re all about misplacing desires. You slowly kill hearts by enticing eyes. You laugh at how so many log on to exchange intimacy for something instant, real connection for the commotion of false variety. One lingering look can quickly spread and infect an entire family, city, nation, and generation.

But like we said, times have changed.

We are onto you.

We are learning more and more all the time about your harmful effects. We know about the connection you share with your cousins: rape, domestic violence, child abuse, sex trafficking, and the like. [I’d add adultery.]

What? You didn’t think we would catch on to the fact that you change the way our brain thinks? You really thought we wouldn’t notice that people are heading to counseling in droves because of the damage you’ve caused?

You didn’t think our husbands, sons, fathers, and brothers would get to a breaking point? You never imagined our wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters had a threshold?

I see. It never dawned on you that people would start bringing you out into the light. Talking about you. Exchanging “aha” moments when they realized they’d also been a victim of your drug in their veins.

The light bulbs are going on, and folks are tired of being lied to.

We want our minds back. We want trust back. We want intimacy back. We want reality back.

And we know you can’t help us with any of that, because you stole those very things from every single one of us who has ever wasted a second on you.

But there is One who can help us get those seconds back. With His name, we can forget yours. By renewing our minds with His words, we can lose the fake scripts that sludge through the depths of our minds. He enables us to take every thought captive and give it to Him so we can override the images that once polluted our memories.

His name is Jesus. And with Him, on a daily basis, we can fight off the likes of you… the predators who seek to steal, kill, and destroy every good thing in our lives.

Porn, you are not without consequence in any way, shape, or form. But you are limited. Because the One who is in us is greater than any one who is in this world, including you.

We are onto you, and we are guarding our hearts by turning our eyes away from you and fixing them on Jesus.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Friends,

After sharing the first letter to pornography, those of you struggling with this evil emerged (literally) from the woodwork…a few examples…

A friend who works in psychology at a college gave me insight into how viewing porn affects/rewires your brain.  She told me of the many girls and boys on college campuses that are addicted and a new task force at her college to help them (and it’s a CHRISTIAN college, friends.)

Another friend sent the letter above, telling me she’d already begun her letter to porn before I shared the first one.

Let’s face it:  porn is easily accessible to young children or ANYONE. Seems every kid above age 10 has a phone with data – one innocent search away from seeing something he or she should not see.  I know you don’t think it will happen to your kids, but I am begging you to consider the friends who might show them and the accidents that could happen when searching and set the parental controls on their phones.  There also apps you can install to PROTECT them.

Some resources:  (in addition to the regular filters on EVERY phone, computer, and tablet)

And, parent, aunt, uncle – if YOU are the one struggling with this addiction, seek help.  It’s real and it’s destructive.

Praying for our world today and the evil that can so easily permeate our hearts.  I, for one, feel the church can NOT sit by and say nothing.  I am not advocating a picket line or Facebook campaign, for the world is already very clear on what we are against. Instead, I am advocating loving those who need help, embracing them when they confess and walking alongside them as image bearers of our Creator.

Much love,

Leave a Reply