We’re Moving {I Know: Crazy!}

We’re moving.  Again.

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I knew those words would become reality again – someday.  But just not this day.

I’ve lived in EIGHT houses,  including my current duplex.  And the thought of moving – again – makes me want to cry.

Ok, I cried. And cried some more.

I cried for my kiddos who won’t look back at their childhood and say, “I loved the house I grew up in.”  I’ll mention a house now (the Sherwood house, the Victoria house), and they look at me with confusion.  It’s too much to keep track of.

I cried for all the places I’ve settled – only to detest because of certain events.

But, I’ve never settled in at this current house.  It doesn’t feel like home.  It might seem simple, but I hate that Owen can’t go and out play. Yeah, we might be spoiled -and I don’t ask for much – but this place has never felt like our home.

Maybe it’s the vibes I moved in with.  Maybe it’s the healing and tears that took place there as the first place we’ve lived after divorce.  I am unsure, but I’ve known:  when the year lease is up, I need to start looking. No timetable.  Just looking.

A few weeks ago I noticed a “for rent” sign on a house. I called. Too much. Then, I saw another – too much work.  My dreams were big and my budget small.  And I do not want to buy a home because I can’t keep it up.  I like having a landlord.

Then, on Saturday, my friend picked up a Bulletin Board – it’s a local listing of all things for rent or sale in my area.  You want a new tractor, free kitten, or antique stove? House? Car?  This little paper is for you.

We took advantage of the sunny day, driving to and fro, looking at the houses in the rental section.  Ugh. Discouraging.

And then…we pulled up to one – that I loved.  It was the little white backporch that made my heart swoon.  We called.

Yes, you can come look, but we have other people already – bummer. How could that be?  I just knew: this is my house!

The owner said she planned to meet each prospective tenant and decide who she wanted.  Alrighty then.  I dressed up and drove to the appointment at 3:30 on Sunday.

I loved the house.  I loved the owners.  It all made me smile.

A huge family room for us to play in.  A creek and some woods.  A flat driveway for Owen’s hoop and a safe neighborhood for biking.  A large kitchen since I’ve become quite the cook (no, really, I am giving it whirl!).

I left with a good feeling and the promise of a decision sometime during the week.

That night and all the next day- I found myself literally praying without ceasing. Lord, it’s really up to you.  Sure, I want to move there.  But, if this isn’t it – I know you have better.  On the same day, I read about Esther’s “patient obedience” and surrendered my plans to Him.  Not just  an “oh, I surrender” but a “I truly want what you want, Lord.”

If there’s one thing I know: He holds me and the future.

His plan is always better than mine.  And he does want good for me – His definition of good.  So, I trust Him.

The landlords called.  Those chose us!  They needed to meet immediately to get the deposit and sign the lease, or they’d offer it to another family.

Woah. Huh? I called my sister.  I called my mom. I weighed options and prayed prayers and cried more tears.

I had to give a month’s notice on my lease. Oh, except the date was February 9 and my lease ends March 9.  Yep, I had one month if I cancelled my lease that moment.  Crazy!

But what about extra moving expenses?  My tax money went  in my account soon thereafter.

But what about packing and moving?  I have no idea, but I have had four people offer to help in the past 24 hours.  And when I messaged my friend in Columbus and my friend in Cambodia and told them the news, their response?  ANSWERED PRAYER – both had been praying for this on my behalf without me even knowing!

See?

God will work it out. (However He sees fit, which is most likely not how I would do it:)

Because he’s been at work in my life over the past four weeks in ways I never imagined.

I know I’ve been a bit silent here.  When you are a single mom with two busy kiddos, writing isn’t high on the priority list.  But, I want you to know that I’ve missed you a bunch.  God answered prayers for Owen in a mighty way; I am going to She Speaks (a gift from a sweet mentor and friend); I am learning how to truly surrender…there has been so much!

And I think He’s been watching and waiting for my surrender – for such a time as this.

And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther 4:14

As I’ve read about Esther over the past week or so, I am learning that God has this thing called my life. Yes, you’d think I already knew that, huh?  But, sometimes we need to see Him and allow Him to remind us that He’s in this with us.  Just as Esther could have never dreamed of the life God orchestrated for her, I can not grasp this life he’s given me – good and bad.  This life that he continues to mold and mend for His glory alone.

Are you gazing on the life you’re living and thinking…this is not how I would have planned it?  I never asked for this.  I wanted this and He gave me that. Are there days you want to kick and scream at God in frustration?  Or days you want to run into His arms with thankfulness?

It’s a tough life. But, sister, please know:  He is there.  He loves you. He will never leave you.  And He knows where you are and what is at stake – for such a time as this.

Will you pray for us as we gather boxes and move over the next three weeks? It’s going to be a bit stressful, but I know:  He’s got this.

Comments

  1. I’m so thankful for these answered prayers. My heart is so full for you right now! What a wonderful summer you have to look forward to in your new home. I cannot wait to visit and drink tea on that porch!

    • You are WELCOME on my sweet little white porch any day of the week!!! and, I have an extra bed with your name on it too! Friend, thank your for praying for me always – even when I didn’t know how to pray or don’t know what to want. You are so good to me! I am thankful God saw fit to orchestrate this meeting of bloggers that led to our beautiful friendship. Love you!

    • Marla Taviano says:

      You must Facetime me while you drink your tea!!

  2. Thanks this was such a great message! You really touched me! He moves us in the direction we need to be!

  3. Oh sister. You have no idea how much I needed to read this and be reminded God has all details of our lives mapped out; all we need to do is trust Him. I was recently offered a job with the state police. I met with a trooper today, a mere few hours ago, and found out my dreams could be shattered because of my student loans. Really? seriously? Is that even possible? I came home feeling defeated and then I find your blog on my Facebook and it’s everything I need right here where I am. Thank you. I’ll be praying for your upcoming move. I know how difficult those can be. Lots of love sent to you guys!

    • Kellie…I have had a few dreams shattered – and I do NOT say that to lessen or minimize your fear or pain. And in the shattering, I sometimes can’t see Him. Shrapnel is flying, and I spend all my time looking at myself – picking each piece up, trying to glue them all back together. All on my own. I will join you in praying for this job – for your future – he wants us to bring the desire of our hearts to his feet. But, I also want you to know. If His answer is no, remember, you are not alone in picking up the pieces. He’s still there, walking beside you, picking them up with you. And although it might sound trite, I do not mean it to: He has a plan that is better than yours. If you knew this plan, you might compare it to your ideas and say….No, I’ll take my own way, thanks. But trust that He knows you better. And after He’s worked in your life and heart, you will look back and say…shew, He saved me there:) I am beginning to experience a life that I never imagined – this freedom in Him – it’s so joyful. I never could have even asked for it because I didnt’ know to. But, I am so grateful He is in charge and moved in my life. Love you, sister. Keep praying!

  4. Awesome, Awesome, Awesome!!! Love this post so much! I am excited for how God has worked out every little detail for you! I really needed to read this right now too. I’ve been very frustrated with how I’ve been praying for something and don’t feel that God has been “listening”. I know He is, and I know He knows my needs more than I do. But sometimes I just have to be reminded of that. Thank you for posting this because it’s just the reminder I needed today! 🙂

    • Funny you should mention prayer, Lori. It’s one of my greatest struggles because I feel that God mostly doesn’t listen. Well, I know he LISTENS, but he just doesn’t answer as I’d like him to. But, as I have been writing about prayer lately – and maybe I’ll publish some of it someday – I am learning that we are to go confidently before him. That’s a command from His Word. So, I don’t understand the mystery of prayer, but I do know that there’s a greater purpose than I could ever fathom. Sometimes I see Him “answer” – ie I get my way. And sometimes He seems silent. Perhaps the real lesson here is obedience, perseverance, and belief/trust. Love you! Keep praying:)

  5. Donna Jackson says:

    Praying for you and your sweet kiddos right now. As I read your post I pray that when things go wrong in my life (and sooner or later they will!) that I can praise my God then as I do now. I pray that His live will be sufficient for me at that time and place. Hang in there. HE’S got ya!

    • Thanks, Donna. I love that prayer because it’s so true…it’s when the storm and ick come that we know if we truly trust deep our hearts or not. Thanks for your encouragement:)

  6. kristen weimer says:

    I am so glad it is working out for you! I studied esther this summer and loved it so much. You are a beautiful women, mother and servant. I could only wish for a fraction of your spirit. If you need help or boxes let me know.

  7. Marla Taviano says:

    I am over the moon about this, friend. Will message you the rest of my thoughts. Love you guys so much!

    • I am over the moon too…and that chorus “let the healing begin” keeps running through my head;) I appreciate those message thoughts. Here’s the Abuelo’s life 😉 (I swear…I will forever call it that – FOREVER!)

    • And… I LOVE YOU!

  8. Awesome answered prayers! Take your time to write when you can – I think we all understand the priorities and the many hats you wear. I’m thrilled for your new place. It sounds charming!

  9. Oh I so understand every single word here. So happy for you. I’m still waiting to find one that feels like home but we are a little but closer…..

    • Melissa…I find it so interesting that when I talk to other women who have walked the same path as me – divorce – the feelings and experiences are so similar. We can all identify with the grieving and the healing and the restarting. It seems so weird that I just can’t make a “home” – but it’s true: It comes with a feeling…praying you find a “place” soon!

  10. Everything will go on it’s place! The fact that you are moving means that you were meant to do it! Good luck! 🙂

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