When You Don’t Get the War Room Ending {Who’s to Blame?}

I’d been anticipating the movie War Room for weeks.  Until…I read an online synopsis a few hours before heading to the theater.  Woman has difficulty in marriage.  Woman prays. God saves the day!  Marriage restored!  

I know.  There’s more to the story, but still…let’s just say I had a crap attitude.

I enter the theater with my arms mentally crossed.  I’d said I’d go.  This better not be a hokey Christian movie that paints Jesus as a genie in a bottle. I better not hear a Gospel that only works for white North Americans.  

My heart is just blah about it.  Because if you know my story, I didn’t get the War Room ending.

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My heart and head are battling as I watch the previews.  I ask God…Why didn’t you answer me too?  I did this and I did that, and in all fairness, so did my ex-husband. Although I know better, I get stuck in…Why does it seem You answer prayers for some and not others? Especially when the “ask” lines up Scripture?  Are some people better? More worthy?  How does it work? 

The movie begins.  Still skeptical.  Arms still crossed.  I refuse to laugh at the first few jokes.  I know I am being a brat because the movie really is funny.

Then slowly…

My heart wishes for a Clara.  I wonder what my life might be like if I would have had a Clara walking with me. Not someone my own age, but someone who had walked the road I was walking.  Someone older, seasoned, who could speak in.  This isn’t me trying to blame someone else for a failed marriage. This is me simply wondering…

Where are all the Clara’s?  

And not just for marriage advice.  But, for life living and love giving.

 

I find myself sitting in the movie, feeling less and less like God’s “answering or not” isn’t the real heart issue for me.  The real issue was/is me.

Because…

I prayed, but not like that.  I lacked belief (that God wanted to and would heal my marriage).  I lacked perseverance (I never set aside daily prayer time for ONLY my marriage.  I wrote prayers, but quickly forgot them among the pages of my journal.).  I lacked hope.  I lost the internal umph that Elizabeth so beautifully demonstrated, yelling at Satan to get out in Jesus’ name!

I am more of an “excuse maker” than “to Jesus taker.”

My heart whispers to God…I understand why I didn’t get the War Room ending.  At some point, Lord, you quit blaming and simply own.  

And I thank Him for second chances.  Because when we know better, we do better.  And now I  know better.  I know the power of prayer – even though I STRUGGLE to understand it (especially in light of God’s sovereignty.)   I understand the importance of perseverance and of keeping hope regardless of how long it takes.

I look around and see a beautiful life filled with blessings I do not deserve. A Jesus who heaps grace and love upon me.  Children who love me beyond measure.  A friend who walks alongside me and is not afraid to point out this crap attitude. A family who jumps through hoops and drives hours to serve and support.  A  church that opens her doors and arms wide to all who wish to enter. {And makes me high five random people:}

Truly…I have weight to lose and single parenting woes to maneuver, but my life is beautiful – not in a “look at me I’m perfect” way. But, in a “God is good even when your ending doesn’t mirror the War Room” way.

Lord, I pray for War Room endings. I believe you’re a God who can and will restore marriages.  You’re a God who is for marriage.  And although my marriage is the past, I am thankful for the present.  May I pray circles, truly believing you can and will answer according to your Word, your Will, and your Purposes.  Please free me from any remaining bitterness toward you and others as I cheerlead for those in the War Room, needing your help.  

Friend, are you begging God for something today?  For a child’s attitude to be changed?  A marriage to be restored?  A cancer scan to be clear?  A mouth to be fed?  A refugee to find love and safety?

Don’t stop.  Grab paper and pen.  Write each of those prayers. Tape them to your wall, closet, bathroom mirror – wherever there’s spare room.  Look at them.  Repeat them.  Believe God is able.  (Or pray, Lord, help my unbelief.)  Find God’s promises in Scripture.  Pray them. And while we know God only answers in His time and according to His purpose, do not let that stop you – even if it takes years.  Because we do not know how long and for what purpose, but we do know that the same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives inside of us if we are Christ followers.

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Romans 8:11

Find a mentor.  Be a mentor. You don’t have time?  Make it. Lives, futures, eternities are at stake. I don’t care how busy or important you are, we need you.  You need us. We need the Clara’s of this world so desperately.  And we need to be the Clara’s of this world so desperately.  

War Room Trailer

Fervent by Priscilla Shirer

Beth Moore Study (Learning to Pray God’s Word)

Comments

  1. Sarah… as always I deeply appreciate your transparency. You are a living testimony. To do that that well requires authenticity and being real. I find it so easy to get weary in the prayer fight. But I praise Jesus that He provides the strength in our neediness and stands in the gap for us. Keep loving the God of the call more than the Call itself. Love you!

  2. This was/is beautiful! Thank you so much for your heart and transparency. I love your plea for US to stand up and be the hands and feet of Christ. Our past…our lives are what can and will minister to others…if only we allow ourselves to be used. He’s using you and I pray that you continue to follow His will for your life because you’re a blessing to many!

  3. I had some of the same feelings while watching War Room, wondering who is a Clara in my life, and who can I “Clara” to?
    Your perspective is wise and gracious and aching and good. Thank you for writing this!

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