When You’re Fresh Out of Amazing {We Can’t Do It All}

Dishes in the sink, scuff marks on the floor, bed unmade. General clutter. Mail, books, the jewelry I wore yesterday. Bills need paid. Dinner needs cooked. Laundry awaits. One child is home; one is waiting on me. A text alerts me that a client needs help. I sit my overloaded backpack on the floor, knowing I’ll have to finish working later – much later.

I am overwhelmed. I don’t voice it. Never voice it. Because I will conquer this feeling, this house, this clutter, this to-do list.  I will not fail. I will navigate becoming a single mom in superstar ways, leaving everyone to wonder, “how does she do it?”

I will.

Deep breath.

Lord, give me strength. Give me anything.  I don’t know how to do this.

I cook and sorta clean. Laundry in. Hugs given. I listen with one ear as I mentally recount my to-dos. They know I am not all there. They sense it, and I hate it.

Lord, I want to do this well. I really do. But, I have no idea how.

I am fresh out of amazing.

I know it deep down; I write it in my journal…Lord, I am failing here. I look like super single mom on the outside, but I am losing me on the inside. I am frazzled and forgetful.

That moment was almost a year ago. I still feel it some days, but it’s the exception not the rule.

Have you felt that way? As if you’re fresh out of amazing? Those are the words of Stacey Thacker and the title of her new book: Fresh Out of Amazing.  These are among the moments in the book that spoke to me…

Screen Shot 2016-09-01 at 12.03.51 PM

You are so very tired of being the one is strong and dependable and brave (11). Yes, I was. Yes, I am

God has indeed met me in my mess, but my fixer-upper heart needed a complete remodel. My foundation had cracked under the weight of other people’s expectations, my walls were covered with to-do lists, and my wiring was outdated by the idea that I was responsible for everything (26/27)  Did I write this? How does she know?

He desires our maturity more than just our maintenance (27). I spent two full years in maintenance mode. Running on the treadmill of life. Going nowhere. Just keeping up.

Growing up others would describe me as dependable, teacher’s pet, obedient, and conscientious (35). My childhood and high school friends need not chime in;) After all, my senior class voted me Teacher’s Pet and Most Likely to Succeed. Enough said.

Our sense of responsibility can and should lead us to care. But doing is optional. Besides, we can only do so much (36).  I still fight the “doing” urge. But I know this to be true. Very true. All missions aren’t mine. I care. Really. But I don’t have to do.  

A woman stretched thin has a temper to match. Responsibility can cause me to be overwhelmed to the point that I become pretty hard to live with… (37) I tell everyone within a room or two of my voice all the things I am doing all by myself. I tell I have had it. I mean had it.

Ugh.  I can see myself in the kitchen. Cooking. Washing dishes. One child is on her phone at the table – two feet from me. The other child is in the living room. And I blow a gasket. You can SEE I need help. Why aren’t you helping? I secretly wonder…do they not love me? Do they not see how hard I am trying to do this well? Or. Maybe.  Mom had juggled so long without help – without asking for help – that they had no idea I might want help.

Only one Person can help when I am at that breaking point…Jesus. (41) Truth. Just plain truth.

Martha was busy but she didn’t have to be burdened…She was set free to be who God made her to be. She could still be a servant like Martha, but she could first be filled up like Mary. (45)

Stacey’s insight into the Mary/Martha story changed my perspective. I have always thought…I am so like Martha. And that’s horrible.  But, sisters, you can be like Martha – it’s NOT BAD.  It’s lovely to be hospitable. To serve. But only from a place of filling.  Of movement toward him first. Love this!

If none of this “way too busy” talk resonates with you, there’s also other ways you might be fresh out of amazing….

She’s Amazing and I’m Not: The curse of comparison is fueled by our insecurity and our fear that will never measure up.

I Feel Like My Dreams Have Died: Jesus does beautiful work in our broken places.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire: Those lies that “dwell and reproduce” within us. Be aware of the lies you believe.

When You’ve Lost Your Song in the Valley of Bitterness: Stacey shares the day she lost her daddy.  When you’ve lost a daddy too, your eyes just don’t move across the page; they swell with tears.  You know this pain too.  I will confess I recognized more of myself than I wanted to in this chapter.

Part 2 of the book is an invitation to wrestle…to watch and wait…to write it down…to worship…to take mercy. To Jesus. And ultimately, Stacey asks us to “grab your Bible and get to know the Great Big God who desires to revive your heart.”  The best advice ever.

You should know…I received an “review” copy of Fresh of Out Amazing from the author a few months ago.  When you’re a blogger, you often get early copies in exchange for a post and social media shares. But, I’ll be honest. I don’t always do either. If I don’t think my people should waste time on the book, then I won’t share it. But, this book? It resonates. And I think you’ll love it.

** Visit Stacey here to get some freebies!

Comments

  1. Giving you a solid “Martha” fist bump right now. I just love her and how Jesus meets her in that moment. What a gift we have to see it unfold!

    Thank you for your kind words Sarah! So grateful for you!

    -Stacey

    • Thanks, Stacey! It’s a book I’ll recommend often. The words resonated, making it ok to be fresh out of amazing. It feels so free. Thanks for listening closely to the Spirit and writing the book He gave.

Leave a Reply